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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Fallen behind

‘Where’s Jen?’

‘She’s right behind me.’  Mark turned and stared down the dark, empty lane.

‘Well, she isn’t any more,’ Steve said, stating the obvious.

‘She was there a minute ago.’ Mark said, starting to amble back the way they’d come.

‘Jen?’ Sally shouted.

Silence.

‘Jen?’

‘Fuck.  Maybe she slipped into the ditch?’ Mark suggested.  ‘She was pretty drunk.’

‘And maybe you should have been walking with her,’ Sally said, trotting past him.

‘I was walking with her.’

‘Is that why she’s disappeared?’

‘You were racing ahead.  She fell behind.’

‘So it’s our fault?’

‘Where the hell is she?’

‘Jen?’ 



A drabble is a story of exactly 100 words

5 comments:

  1. Rob - This one really builds up the tension beautifully. I could even see it as an opening to a a larger story. Very nicely done.

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  2. All your characters seem to swear a lot.

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  3. Yes, they do swear a fair bit. Most people I know swear quite a bit. If you sit on any bus or train or in a cafe or pub you'll hear swearing regularly in Ireland. More so if people have been drinking or are under stress, as in this story. Which is to say, my characters swear, because people swear when placed in the kinds of situations I've put them.

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  4. This is a nice drabble, and I agree with Margot that it would be an intriguing opening to a longer piece.

    People swear a lot in my house too, and I'm the only one who lives here.

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    ReplyDelete