Review of The Shark Infested Custard by Charles Willeford

Four guys in their late twenties/early thirties live in a singles apartment block in Miami.  Larry ‘Fuzz-O’ Dolman is an ex-cop who now works for a private security company.  Eddie Miller is an airline pilot who’s studying for a real estate license.  Don Luchessi is a salesman, separated from his wife, but pining for the company of his ten year old daughter.  Hank Norton is a smooth talking drug company rep who claims to be able to pick up a woman in any locale.  They spend their free time hanging by the pool, playing cards, going to the movies and trying to chat up women.  When Hank bets the others that he can pick up a woman from what they agree is an impossible scoring location - a drive-in movie theatre - he sets in train a whole series of events, starting with trying to dispose of two bodies.  All four guys love Miami, but can they take the heat?

The Shark Infested Custard is told in four parts, each part told in the first person from the perspective of one of the four lead characters.  Willeford manages to produce four different voices and to provide a nice depth of characterization.  The dialogue is spot-on, and the scenes are well penned, some of them very well so.  There are some very nice observational touches throughout, especially Hank’s amateur psychology readings of other people, although this is tempered by some fairly explicit sexism and some political incorrectness around race.  For me, it was the plot that was the weakest element of the book.  Each part is an extended short story, with each intersecting with the others.  In some places, the story didn’t really seem to be moving anywhere other than building the character.  There just seemed to be little forward momentum and if I’d lost the book, I wouldn’t have felt compelled to buy another to find out how the book ended.  And collectively the four parts didn’t seem to be adding up to more than the sum of the parts.  That is, until the last few pages.  Often novels seem to tail off at the end, whereas this one finished with a flurry that had the effect of lifting the whole book.  Indeed, it is interesting that a day or so after finishing it, my opinion of its merits is much higher than when I was actually reading it.  Overall, an uneven story that has some flashes of brilliance.

Review of Miami Blues by Charles Willeford (No Exit Press, 1984)

Psychotic Freddie Frenger Jr has just got out prison in California. Wanting a new life he mugs three men, takes their money and credit cards and heads to Miami. In the airport he’s approached by a Hari Krishna who won’t take no for answer. Freddie’s solution is to break his middle finger, not expecting the man to die of shock. Sergeant Hoke Moseley is assigned to the case, unsure whether this is an accidental death, manslaughter or murder one. Moseley’s life is in a hole: he’s living in a down-at-heel motel and most of his salary going on alimony payments. In a twist of fate Frenger has hooked up with Susan Waggoner, a simple-minded young woman who is working as a prostitute in a hotel, and happens to be the dead Krishna’s brother. Hoke breaks the news to Susan and Frenger, quickly picking up on the fact that Frenger is an ex-con. Where Hoke sees potential trouble, Frenger sees an opportunity. A gun and a badge will give him free license to get people to do what he wants; and what he wants is for Susan to be his common-in-law wife and for him to prowl the mall and prey on pickpockets and drug dealers. All he needs to do is turnover Hoke and relieve him of his gun, badge and handcuffs. When Hoke wakes up in a hospital with his jaw wired shut, he suspects Frenger, but he’s no evidence. Moreover he’s on sick leave and he’s been told to stay away from duty. But such inconveniences never keep a good cop down.

Miami Blues is the first of four Hoke Moseley novels. It was made into a movie in 1990. In many ways, Willeford was the forerunner for the comic noir set of Sunshine State novels by the likes of Carl Hiaasen, Elmore Leonard, Tim Dorsey, Victor Gischler, Randy Wade White, James Hall, Laurence Shames. The novel was darkly amusing, without being laugh out loud funny and in many ways the novel kind of aimlessly unfolds, lacking in a strong narrative drive. The plot is rather straightforward, and I was expecting a few more twists and turns. Certainly much more could have been done with the resolution. The characterisation is good, with the relationship between Frengler and Susan nicely explored, though Hoke seemed a little underdeveloped. Overall, an enjoyable enough read. I’ve heard that it’s the weakest of the Hoke novels, so I’ll probably give the others a go at some point.