Opening lines

To continue an occassional series of interesting opening lines, these are from some comic crime novels.

"I was hungry enough to eat the ass end of a skunk."  Out of Time, Katy Munger


"Peace had settled over the city like the skin on a rancid custard." Of Wee Sweetie Mice and Men, Colin Batemen

"Paranoia doesn't sleep; a guilty conscience looks over its shoulder forever."  Virgin Heat, Laurence Shames

"I've been a poet and novelist for almost a week now and I am really getting the hang of it."  Dead Organised, Audrey Corr


"The minotaur had been causing trouble far in excess of its literary importance."  Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde

Opening lines

I posted some opening lines by Joe Lansdale a little while ago.  Here are some more by another of my favourite authors, Terry Pratchett.  I'll probably make this a semi-regular spot.


In a distant and second-hand set of dimensions, in an astral plane that was never meant to fly, the curling star-mists waver and part …
The Colour of Magic (1983)

Sam Vimes sighed when he heard the scream, but he finished shaving before doing anything about it.
Night Watch (2002)


Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.
Hogfather (1996)

Against the stars a turtle passes, carrying four elephants on its shell.  Both turtle and elephants are bigger than people might expect, but out between the stars the difference between huge and tiny is, comparatively speaking, very small.
The Last Continent (1998)

The bees of Death are big and black, they buzz low and sombre, they keep their honey in combs of wax as white as altar candles.  The honey is black as night, thick as sin and sweet as treacle.
Eric (1990)

Johnny never knew for certain why he started seeing the dead.
Johnny and the Dead (1993)

This is where the gods play games with the lives of men, on a board which is at one and the same time a simple playing area and the whole world.
Interesting Times (1994)

Opening lines

This post was prompted by a piece yesterday by Jose over at The Game's Afoot about opening first lines. I thought I'd post some opening lines by one of my favourite authors, Joe Lansdale, who always has strong openings to his novels.

It was July and hot and I was putting out sticks and not thinking one whit about murder.
Mucho Mojo (1994)

When I got over to Leonard's Christmas Eve night, he had the Kentucky Headhunters turned way up over at his place, and they were singing "The Ballad of Davy Crockett," and Leonard, in a kind of Christmas celebration, was once again setting fire to the house next door.
The Two-Bear Mambo (1995)

When you grow up in a place, especially if your childhood is a good one, you fail to notice a lot of the nasty things that creep beneath the surface and wriggle about like hungry worms in rotten flesh.
Leather Maiden (2008)

On the afternoon it rained frogs, sun perch, and minnows, Sunset discovered she could take a beating good as Three-Fingered Jack.
Sunset and Sawdust (2004)

It was mid-April when I got home from the offshore rig and discovered my good friend Leonard Pine had lost his job bouncing drunks at the Hot Cat Club because, in a moment of anger, when he had a bad ass on the ground out back of the place, he'd flopped his tool and pissed on the rowdy's head.
Bad Chilli (1997)

Bill Roberts decided to rob the firecracker stand on account he didn't have a job and not a nickel's worth of money and his mother was dead and kind of freeze-dried in her bedroom.
Freezer Burn (1999)