Empty promises

‘You promised you would get it sorted.’

‘I’m working on it. It’s not ...’

‘I don’t care,’ the man interrupted, ‘how easy or difficult it is. I voted for you because you said you’d get it fixed. Three years we’ve been waiting.’

‘Look, the recession has changed everything. The country is dying on its feet. It’s ...’

‘And whose fault is that? You’re as bad as the last lot! Full of empty promises. Don’t try and tell me about the recession. I live the recession!’

‘Look, I’m doing my best.’

‘Well, it’s not good enough, is it? It never is.’


A drabble is a story of exactly 100 words.

Time flies by when you're lost in data

This week has been unbelievably busy. The institute I run was the official data visualization partner for the Irish Census 2011, launched yesterday morning. The AIRO team in NIRSA has been flatout working with the data and constructing and testing various interactive mapping and graphing visualizations. We only had the data for a week before launch (and there's only 4 of us - 3 when you consider that all I do is test, analyse and do the media stuff). The team did an unbelievable job and the launch by the Central Statistics Office and ourselves went smoothly and we've had great feedback and media coverage. Several of our graphing tools were embedded into Irish Times stories (see the IT census section). If you're interested in these kinds of things then the CSO report 'This is Ireland' can be found here, and the interactive data visualizations here. A bunch of analysis can be found on the other blog I contribute to Ireland After NAMA. After a week of 12-14 hour days I'm zonked; back to usual next week, hopefully.

Review of The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson by Douglas Lindsay (Piatkus 1999, reprinted by Blasted Heath, 2011)

A serial killer is at work in Glasgow sending a body part through the post to the victim’s relatives. The case has Chief Inspector Robert Holdall and his sergeant MacPherson vexed. The madman’s exploits vie for attention in a local barber shop, along with football and general pish. Barney Thomson resentfully works the chair furthest from the window, the other two operated by Wullie Henderson, the owner’s son, and Chris Porter, who is several year’s Barney’s junior. When on form, Barney cuts like a maestro, but lately he’s lost his form and customer’s seeking his services are dwindling. To make matters worse his wife is a soap opera addict that barely notices him and his aging mother has dementia. In his fantasies, what Barney would love to do is kill Henderson and rightfully reclaim the window seat and his dignity. And the local serial killer would like to help.

The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson is a comedy noir, thickly laced with black humour. The story is not particularly complicated, but is very well told, and there are three strong twists in the book that the rotate the plot ninety degrees each time to good effect. The dialogue and wit (or talking pish in the books terms) in the barber scenes is excellent, as is the running commentary on the soap operas Barney’s wife watches, and the banter between the detectives. I laughed out loud several times, especially in the first half of the book. The characterisation was spot on and despite being one of life’s losers it’s difficult not to take to Barney and his ill-judged decisions and morose approach to life. If there are any television producers reading this, in my view, the book would make a very good two-hour comedy drama. Overall, a thoroughly enjoyable read and I’m looking forward to the second book in the series, The Cutting Edge.

Review of Death on the Marais by Adrian Magson (Allison and Busby 2010)

It’s 1963 and Inspector Lucas Rocco has been posted to the village of Poissons-les-Marais in north-west France as part of a bureaucratic exercise to rotate officers around the country. He’s not best pleased to be leaving cosmopolitan Paris, but is immediately plunged into a village life and a murder case. A young woman is found dead in a Great War cemetery having been drowned and moved. A former sergeant who served in Indo-China, Rocco is famed for his insubordination, determination and bravery. His new boss is his former commanding officer, a coward who lost countless men’s lives through poor leadership. Before Rocco can even make a start investigating the case, the young woman’s body has disappeared, high level officials creating a smokescreen. The dogged Rocco soon picks up a trail, though it brings him into conflict with a powerful family. As Rocco makes slow progress, he starts to uncover a web of intrigue and a bitter legacy left over from the Second World War. To solve the case, Rocco must battle both enemies unseen and French bureaucracy.

Death on the Marais has many good qualities: an interesting main character in Inspector Lucas Rocco, a nice sense of place, and engaging prose that’s easy on the eye. The story unfolds at a fast clip, tugging the reader along, and the plot has a nice mix of a cop out of place and historical intrigue. The main plot is lively and intriguing and the subplot involving Rocco’s new boss, Massin, with whom he has an old enmity, unfolds nicely. There are two flaws in the story, however, which have niggled away at me since finishing the book. It’s difficult to talk about either in specific terms without giving spoilers, however, in general terms: Rocco is thorough in what he does but occasionally he notes to himself that he needs to do something, such as searching somewhere, then ignores it; the killer also leaves a large thorn in the side unresolved and yet is ruthless otherwise. Neither made little sense other than as plot devices and both worked to undermine what was otherwise an fine piece of storytelling. Nonetheless, I enjoyed Death on the Marais and look forward to catching up with Rocco in his next case.

Laughter shack

One of my flash fiction pieces is up on Laughter Shack. Had to be less that 500 words and be funny without telling jokes. My piece is a riff on that theme - a host of almost told jokes. Two men get thrown out of a bar ...

Shots of noir

A slow week of reading shorts. Here's what I managed.

Baby boom by Jochem Vandersteen (Shotgun Honey)
Undead by Benoit Lelievre (Flash Fiction Offensive)*
Saving his marriage by Jim Harrington (Near to the Knuckle)
Toad skin and yellow eyes by S. Zaniab Williams (Spinetingler)
Deviation Jones - a trilogy by Christopher Grant (All Due Respect)*
Shades of grey by Darren Sant (Thrillers, Killers and Chillers)

Lazy Sunday Service

For the first time this year I've spent the day in lazing in the garden. The sun even decided to show itself. A nice calm before the storm - Census 2011 results are out this Thursday. I'll be flat out at work trying to make sense of those at the end of the week. I'm looking forward to wading through and analysing the results.

My posts this week
Shots of noir
Review of The Imitation of Patsy Burke by John J Gaynard
Guerrila gardening and ghost estates
Guerilla art: Romantic Ireland is Dead and Gone
Review of Kiss Me Quick by Danny Miller
Third level education from the frontline
Brief encounter
Deserted village

Brief encounter

The doors on the train slid open.

‘Hey!’ He waved and stepped onto the platform.

Sarah dashed forward and threw her arms around him. ‘At last! What was the problem?’

‘Signal failure. It took an age to fix.’

‘I know! I’ve had three cups of coffee whilst waiting. I’m buzzing like a wind-up toy! Come-on, my parents are dying to meet you.’

They started to head for the exit.

‘My scarf!’ He turned and dashed back onto the train.

‘Conor!’

The doors clunked shut behind him.

He turned, jabbing at the button, then rested his forehead forlornly against the glass.

Review of Kiss Me Quick by Danny Miller (Robinson, 2011)

It’s 1964 and Vince Treadwell is law graduate who has taken the path of a copper. On the fast track to the top to the force he’s a Scotland Yard detective working central London. He also seems to be the only cop on the force who isn’t on the take. When he’s called to a murder in Soho he discovers more than he bargained for. Three weeks later he is emerges from a coma convinced that his soon to be retired boss was partially responsible for his hospital stay. To keep him out of the way until his boss leaves he’s packed off to Brighton, his home town, to take a look at case that has the paw-prints of Jack Regent, a legendary underworld boss, all over it. Regent has disappeared, but his rackets and gang haven’t, still with their fingers in every lucrative pie in the town, overseen by his trusted lieutenant, former professional wrestler, Henry Pierce. Working with the resentful Brighton police, Treadwell starts to investigate, only to find himself falling for Regent’s woman, the blond bombshell, Bobby LaVita, and to discover his own past in the form of his brother, Vaughan, catching up with him. It’s going to take all his skills and wits to bring Regent and his cronies to justice.

Kiss Me Quick is very much a story of an isolated, maverick, brilliant cop against his own corrupt bosses and the criminal underworld. Vincent Treadwell is an engaging lead character, with his movie star looks, sense of morality and reckless bravery. The other lead characters - Bobbie, Jack Regent, Henry Pierce, Vaughan - are all well penned, full of life and fleshed out with strong back stories. Although the book is very much rooted in the town, somewhat oddly I didn’t really get a feel for Brighton, its geography or sense of place beyond it being a seaside resort. What I did get was a vivid sense of time. Miller does a good job at recreating the early 1960s and the feel and vibe of the time. These are the two real strengths of the book: the characterization and the historical rootedness. The plot was interesting if a little cumbersome at times, but it was generally engaging, tense and rose to a crescendo. For the most part the storytelling was solid enough, but was a little over-elaborated in places for my taste. Overall an enjoyable read and I’d be interested in catching up with Detective Treadwell’s next case.

Review of The Imitation of Patsy Burke by John Gaynard (Createspace, 2011)

Patsy Burke, a famous Irish sculptor in Paris, wakes in a small apartment hungover, battered and bruised and with a broken arm. He’s somewhat confused and has little recollection of the night before. Over the course of a morning, and with the aid of the cast of voices residing in his head (including The Scandal Man, Caravaggio, Goody Two-Shoes, Forget Me Not, The Chopper, The Observer) and Khadija, one of his lovers, he starts to piece together what happened and to situate it within the narrative of his life, which includes a boarding school in the north of England, the death of his sweetheart, three marriages, five daughters, a series of lovers, a kidnapping, squabbles with gallery owners, fights in bars, and an infamous sculpture that offended the Church and sold for millions of euro. Despite everything that has happened in his eventful life, it seems that the previous night he may have gone too far.

It took me a little while to get into The Imitation of Patsy Burke - both the storyline and the style. The story is an in-depth character study and the story unfolds through the various voices in Patsy’s head as it tries to reconcile the morning after with recollections of the afternoon and night before and the back story to the artist’s life. At first, I found the style somewhat awkward and contrived, but as the story progressed the style made more sense and I got drawn further and further into the narrative and by the end I was truly hooked, staying up way past when I would normally shut a book and turn off the lights, devouring pages until I reached the end. And a very nicely resolved end it is too, both somewhat inevitable and slightly out of left field. Whilst Burke is a character for which one feels little sympathy, the characterization and its unfolding is very well done, with the story well layered. The voices in Patsy’s head each have a distinctive voice and message and their bickering has an authentic tone (if voices in a head can have such a thing). The prose is nicely expressive throughout and is peppered with philosophical insights. If you like in-depth characterization, then The Imitation of Patsy Burke will provide good, if a little unusual, reading fodder.

Shots of noir

I was dipping in and out of short story collections. I've now changed tack and am concentrating on one at a time. I'm presently working my way through Daniel O'Shea's Old School. It has some cracking stories in it. From online sites I've read the following:

Cold Beer by Townsend Walker (Near to the Knuckle)
The gun by his bed by Chris Rhatigan (Near to the Knuckle)
Victoria's even bigger secret by Cheryl Ann Gardner (Near to the Knuckle)
What you don't know by R.J. Spears (Shotgun Honey)
Whatever it takes by Matthew Funk (Shotgun Honey)
The golden shot by Graham Smith (Flash Fiction Offensive)

Lazy Sunday Service

Given the rapid fall off in comments and some of the discussion online complaining about Blogger's captcha setting I've decided to turn off the word verification to post comments for now and see how I get on. You'd think that Blogger could work out a decent spam filter that would negate the need for captcha and if they're going to persist in using it, then you'd think they could come up with a system that is useable. At the minute the words are unreadable and they're sure as hell unlistenable if you have visual impairments. Anyway, I hope it is now easier for people to comment.

My posts this week
Shots of noir
Review of Choke on Your Lies by Anthony Neil Smith
Being jolted out of a story
Review of Manchester 6 by Col Bury
Review of Star Island by Carl Hiassen
Self-defence
A dozen Irish crime novels to celebrate St Patrick's Day

A dozen Irish crime novels to celebrate St Patrick's Day

Since it's St Patrick's Day, here are a dozen recent Irish crime novels set in Ireland for your consideration. There's no duds on this list; all top quality reads - click on the links to see my reviews and find out more. Or how about sampling any of the books on the two piles right (photos lifted from the central station of Irish crime writing, Declan Burke's blog, Crime Always Pays)

The Cold, Cold Ground by Adrian McKinty
The Point by Gerard Brennan
Winterland by Alan Glynn
Absolute Zero Cool by Declan Burke
The Dramatist by Ken Bruen
The Rage by Gene Kerrigan
Black Sheep by Arlene Hunt
Peeler by Kevin McCarthy
Taken by Niamh O'Connor
A Stone of the Heart by John Brady
Collusion by Stuart Neville
Gallows Lane by Brian McGilloway

Self-defence

‘You bitch!’

The slap whipped her head right, knocking her off balance. He then shoved her hard, sending her sprawling backwards onto the sofa. He was on top of her before she could react, the buttons on her blouse popping off as he tore on the thin cotton.

‘Stop! Michael!’

He was drunk. Angry, vengeful and beyond reason.

‘Michael!’

Somehow she landed a knee to the groin and scrambled out from under him.

She dashed to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.

Michael staggered after her, bellowing insults.

She was surprised at how easily the blade slid between two ribs.


A drabble is a story of exactly 100 words.

Review of Star Island by Carl Hiassen (Sphere, 2010)

Cherry Pye is a twenty two year old out-of-control, airhead, drug-addled, lip-synching, manufactured popstar. All she wants is to party, to screw every bloke she meets, and to be adored by her management team and fans. Her first two ambitions don’t sit well with the clean-cut, role-model image demanded by society and she’s constantly getting herself into trouble, with her behaviour caught by the paparazzi. To counter this, her parents have hired an undercover stunt double, Ann DeLusia, who covers for Cherry when she messes up, plus a pair of devious PR sisters, and a slightly psychotic bodyguard who is immune to her sexual charms and has a weed wacker in place of an amputated arm. Bang Abbott, a paprazzo with very little morals, is obsessed with Cherry Pye and her slow disintegration. If he can catch her death on film he knows he’ll make a fortune. Pushed to desperate measures, Abbott kidnaps the star to find he’s snatched the body double. Cherry’s management can’t afford for the existence of the double to become public and Abbott sees an opportunity to leverage a day with the young star. Nobody, however, counts on DeLusia being friends with a former governor of Florida who has forsaken materialism, lives on the margins of society, and has a righteous sense of justice.

Star Island is the latest comic crime caper novel from Hiassen. Like the books preceding it, the story is populated by larger than life characters acting out a slightly surreal satire on modern society. Star Island takes a swipe at today’s manufactured celebrity culture and the role of the media and paparazzi. With the exception of the governor and Chemo (the bodyguard), unfortunately Hiassen’s characters seem entirely plausible as does the twisted storyline. Indeed, Hiassen does a relatively good job at highlighting the vacuous nature of celebrity and the so-called entertainment industry. He writes in a confident, engaging style and there are some genuinely funny moments in the story. As usual, Florida shines through, providing a good sense of place. The plot, for the most part, works well, though the story feels at times a little bit all-surface and not enough depth. And the governor and Chemo work to de-rail the story a little because even though the story is full of odd-characters, they at least seemed as if they belonged (that the governor is a long running character in the Hiassen novels is neither here nor there for me). Nevertheless, for Hiassen fans, of which I am one, this addition to the series will mostly hit the mark.